I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
