Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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