her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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