playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
