She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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