I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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