maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
