Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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