I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
