last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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