White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
