The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
