this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
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So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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