Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
