Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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