There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
