she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
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Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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