Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
