Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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