quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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