Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
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Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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