bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Oh god it's open bar.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
