I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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