Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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