Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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