Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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