I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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