Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Randomize
