I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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