yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
