The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
