well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
