Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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