Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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