I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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