What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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