Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
