Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
