just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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