she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
