Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
