I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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