Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize