i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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