are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
