Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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