I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
