sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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