i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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