I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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