Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
