Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
