Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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