I look better un-naked...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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