Screwed.edu
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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